strangetwn_god

Hello, I'm Stan Gerbits, and you are someone else. Welcome to another episode of Strangtown College Matchmaker, the reality show where we put 6 sims in a college house together and find out who gets to be the old maid at the end, and Oh Benevolent God, you are not supposed to be here! You are supposed to be dead!

Day 1

Stan Gerbits: Yes, this is a surprise, contestant number 4, Ziggy, who was mysteriously killed in an accident after auditions has come back from the dead to appear in our show.

Ziggie: SSSooooory, I'mmmm laate. I've been duh-duh-dead.



Mickey: Soo, you are a Zombie?



Mickey: Do you cook your brains or just eat them raw?



Stan: Most of the first day, was spent by our contestants getting to know each other.

Captian: Let me tell you my plan. I'm going to win this contest, and then capitalize that investment in a fleet of airplanes.



Toni: I just want to kiss some boys.



Stan: Meanwhile, Ziggy tries to make small-talk.

Ziggy:Muh mooom and Iiiii are duh-dead. I do-doon't knoooow haw we gggot that way....



(pregnant pause)



Toni: I had an uncle arrested for safecracking once.



Stan: Toni and our young prince Harry seem to be making a connection.

Harry: Yeah, my father used to be a judge.



Toni: Ohh, I know a little bit about that. What do you say we play cops and robbers sometime? I have the handcuffs.



Harry: Hrm. Cops and robbers? Sounds interesting.

Stan: Meanwhile, the shy ones, Mickey and Gemma, may be forming an alliance...



Stan: ..or not.



Stan: And pirate-in-residence, Captain Raider develops his own plan.

Captain (Voice Over): Hey, it's divide and conqueror. I figure that the Zombie will be the easiest to eliminate first.

Day 2

Harry (Voice Over): It's early in the school year. I might as well keep my options open. Get to know my housemates.

Harry: Wolf-whistle.



Nellie: Hey, you like it, you gotta work for it.



Stan: Then Gemma takes a break from studies to make a move.

Gemma: This one has been informed that sometimes biological organisms come back as ghosts.



Harry: Ohh, it's not a big deal. It's kind of like having your grandparents around, only slightly more ill-tempered.



Gemma: I don't have grandparents, but that is interesting data.

Stan: The first in a series of strange accidents, a fire on the stove threatens Gemma Cyber's life.

Gemma (Voice Over): It was really the worst thing I experienced. The intense heat and smoke overloaded my logic breakers leaving me unable to move.





Stan: Mickey starts building his own alliances, first with Ziggy.

Ziggy (subtitled): You know Mickey, you are beautiful without that hat.



Mickey: Thank you. I don't know what to say.



Stan: Meanwhile. Gemma unwinds with a member of the faculty.

Gemma: These bubbles, they make my circuits feel like a football.



Prof. Lakshmi Ohh, I feel like I'm about to be lifted by a team of sweaty sumo wrestlers.



Gemma: No definitely a football for me.



Stan: And now, time for a commercial break.

Day 3

Stan: Welcome back to our show. I'm Stan Gerbits, host and narrator of the show. Toni, what is up with you and spongebaths in the middle of the kitchen.

Toni: You mean, most people don't? I figure, if we are going to live together, we might as well be all free and open about these things.



Ziggy (Voice Over, Subtitled): I just decided I had enough. My backbone may be broken and rotting in places, but I still have one, OK. (Incompressible howls and spitting.)



Stan: And Gemma seeks advice from Harry.

Gemma: Harry, this Woohoo that this one keeps hearing about...



Gemma: Would it be something I can learn about from my physics instructors?



Harry: Actually, you might get a better idea from construction workers.



Stan: And our cast celebrates the end of a hard-won semester.

Next episode: Will events push Captain and Ziggy into conflict, or will they reach some sort of compromise?

Captain (on phone): Dad, what do you mean you sold my cricket bat? I need it.

Stan: Will Mickey come out of the closet? And Toni seems to have won center stage, but will she win the heart of Harry? Or will Nellie pull out from behind? And will Gemma master the first-person singular pronoun by the end of her college career? Tune in next episode...

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(hidden on end of tape.)
Stan: Dude, what are you doing to me? Three of the cast are not even human? What do you mean, "human for certain values of humanity." I mean, I know I've done a lot of bad work in the past. My carrer has not been the same since, Greatest Disasters of Sim City v. 4. But a combination of "The Sim World" and "Jane Millionaire" involving a Zombie, a Cyborg, and an evolutionary dead end? Well, that's just fine.

Here, let me call my agent. Yes, Jasmine, It's Gerbits. About that Strangetown Matchmaker gig what are my options? This is killing me? What do you mean I'm locked in contract. Look, get my attorney to take a look at it. Ok, ok, I understand. What do you mean I have no choice, what am I paying you for? Ok. Understood. I'll stick it out until my attorney talks back to me.

Ok Mr. Producer, it looks like we are stuck with each other for a few more episodes.